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How I Accidentally Joined a Secret Cult in Mexico 🔥
If you’ve ever been invited to a “spiritual retreat” in a foreign country, let me give you some advice: ask more questions before you say yes. Otherwise, you might end up in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by strangers chanting in a language you don’t understand, wondering if this is how you die.
It Started With a Free Trip 🛫
A friend of mine — let’s call her Sofia — was deep into “alternative spirituality.” One day, she hit me with, “Hey, wanna come to a retreat in Mexico? It’s free, and the vibes are amazing.” Free? Mexico? Amazing vibes? Say no more.
The first red flag should have been the lack of details. No website, no itinerary, just a vague promise of “transcendence.” But I thought, how bad could it be? Spoiler: very bad. 😬
The Arrival: Where the Hell Am I?
We landed in Mexico City, where a guy in white linen pants greeted us with the longest, most uncomfortable hug of my life. He spoke in riddles, saying things like “Your soul has been waiting for this moment.” Uh, okay.
From there, we drove six hours into the mountains, passing small villages until we reached a compound with no cell service. My survival instincts kicked in, but Sofia was too busy “aligning her chakras” to…
